Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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