I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
