Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
