i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
