you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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