He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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