please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
