Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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