my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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