So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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