so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
