who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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