Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
