my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
