dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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