He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You pole danced in your parka.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
