If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize