You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
