So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
