Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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