id be glad to
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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