So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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