She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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