tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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