someone threw a dead crab at me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
