you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
