Me. At least after what I've been through.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize