Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
