there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize