i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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