im holly from the hills drunk
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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