The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
