2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
