I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
