I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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