guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
