There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
