Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I did not marry a roomba.
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