why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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