i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
