I hate your face
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Two words: blizzard sex
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
