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remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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