got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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