people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
