Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
