She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
so much tequila, so little girl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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