so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
