I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
