all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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