I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
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