i was born a porn star she said
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
