I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
