its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
