Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
