Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
