clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
All I want is dick and wine.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
