I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
