I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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